Tifa had finally got her head back on straight. She had been confused briefly but that was gone now and she knew more things than she did. She knew Yuffie was on the way and at least, she would have someone she knew close by. She glanced to Lulu as she took a moment to observe the statuesque woman, the long dark braids and the stuffed toy beneath her arm. She was certainly not someone Tifa was used to seeing, she had to be from another world. If she was, did that mean Tifa could explore these new worlds?
She always craved travel. She loved adventure and she was always reaching for the stars. Her want to be something more than she was, was the reason she was always wishing on falling stars. She always wanted something better for herself and for the people she cared about. As she thought about all those she cared about, her heart weighed heavy as her thoughts brought her to Cloud. Her eyes grew sad, how could he let that man love him, how could he love him?
Tifa hoped Cloud would see sense, would find sanity in the insanity Sephiroth inspired within him. Why couldn’t he see that Sephiroth wasn’t good for him? Tifa didn’t care if Cloud never loved her, she only wanted him away from him because he wasn’t good for Cloud and he would only cause him further pain. Cloud wouldn’t listen to her, perhaps that was what hurt the most. The fact that the man she cared the most about in the whole world wouldn’t listen to her when it came to this situation.
What had happened to all of them? She couldn’t remember when Aeris and Cloud had accepted the monster Sephiroth was and had begun to care about him. This was the man who had nearly destroyed their world, he was the man who had made their lives a living hell. She could still smell Nibelheim burning and as she thought to him, her hand clenched at her top. In the attempt to touch the scar his sword had left on her.
Tifa pulled herself from her thoughts as her eyes travelled back to Lulu." My friend Yuffie will be along shortly." She said simply, not entirely sure what to say to the woman who was so quiet. As she crossed her arms over her chest, she looked back to her boots and a strand of brown hair fell over her face. She knew she had solve nothing by running away but at least she had escaped the insanity for a few brief moments. A cold pain spread out from her heart and shifted all the way through her, settling in her stomach.
She had become secondary to Sephiroth, how funny was that? She inhaled slowly and steeled herself. She refused to let herself think like that, if that was what Cloud wanted, if he wanted that monster, he could have him but Tifa would no longer have anything to do with Cloud. She didn't care about the years of friendship, she didn't care about promises and dreams. She had been there through everything, she had pulled him back from the brink but she would not stand by and watch him ruin his life by loving a man not fit for love.
Her eyes shook and she forced the thoughts from her mind. Why couldn't he understand how insane this was? Why couldn't he see something was bad for him as Sephiroth so blatantly was? Tifa knew what she would do, she'd go back to her bar and she'd work and work. She'd work so hard, the rest of the world wouldn't matter, nothing could hurt her if she didn't let herself be hurt.
She felt like she was fighting a losing battle. The more she fought, the harder it got. What was the point to fighting anymore? Best to let it happen and let people make their own mistakes. She wasn't picking up the pieces, not again. It pained her deeply to think like this but she didn't see any other choice. She was just so tired of everything, of her life, of hoping against hope when nothing good ever happened. It always happened to someone else, she got bad things after bad things and she was tired of it.
Sometimes the world looked a lot better when you shut your eyes and slept for a long period of time. She briefly wondered if maybe Vincent had the right idea when he slept for as long as he did. Tifa simply watched the ground beneath her feet as her mind circled around on itself, over and over again.
((OOC : Uh yeah, she's...um yes >.>))